manic monday

it rained today.

like a box of green running men

these line the "streets" of the hotel halls; so if you have to run- go thata way

L wall street english 7

here's looking at you

L and you looking at me, at 5:39 in the AM your time 7

what's cookin' good lookin'

poppin off like the top of a chinese soad pop - tastes like american coke, only sweeter.

met with one factory today, its sunday so not many factories are open. it's SO smoggy here, the sun never shines - worse than LA. ten times worse. the girl i correspond with "karen" (sweejun is her real name) is only 26 - and married, she came to qingdao as her "lifes dream, because she believes it is the most beautiful city in china" - it is SO crazy to learn about these people's lives. she freaking taught herself english!

ok on to the crazy shit..

so "karen" and "jack" took us out for a VERY authentic chinese lunch. scorpions and all. im a pussy, i wont eat anything that swims (unless its tuna or a fish stick) or any mystery meat.. so, this was quite the experience. especially since qingdao is a "sea city" - they are right on the water, pacific ocean - or what the locals call the "yellow sea" -keep it to yourself- So everything was seafood!

(yes those are scorpions)

besides the fact that this was TOTALLY in the middle of rural china, like dirt roads and tractor bikes - wait everyone rides tractor bikes here; well you get my jest.

the resty was inside a hotel, where we were indefinately the only non-chinky eyed wonderkids inside. The way it was set up was all these dishes (below) wrapped in plastic wrap, and live tanks of sea food.. you basically pick what you want and then they serve it to you.

it is typical chinese culture to eat inside private dining rooms, so we went in a large room and all sat around a table with a HUGE lazy susan so the food could be easily shared.


i almost thought it was a can of dog food, or food made of dog - but i think its a can of fish?


shrimp salad, in a uh - plastic wrap?


get your mind out of the gutter you pervert, i know what youre thinking.


i couldnt even tell you what the hell these "sea animals" are, but they're eyes are all cloudy


thats what you call a "fun basket"


octapus


not me not now, not ever.


a pile of dead fish, with a lobster cherry


this is your brain on drugs, or fried with veggies..


this is my are "really?" face. bc i really just dont know how to operate fucking chopsticks



the best chicken soup of my life, until i found out it was fish stomach and sea urchin soup -


now thats a lunch (note the pumpkin filled with mushrooms - fucking amazing!)

on that note,

a three wheeled car from the window of a four wheeled car, dip set.

L what is in that, does it have legs 7

i just watched asain mtv

11.) i just freaked the fuck out in my room bc my lights wouldnt turn on, i started to panic thinking that somehwre in a dark corner a small chinese man with a piano wire was crouching like i tiger hidden like a dragon ready to strangle the oodon out of me... alas you must put your hotel key in its special holder and viola! the lights turn on.. stupid blonde american i am.

L i can say thank you in chinese 7

hey you fucking starfish

this is for you rachel:
他不是我的父亲

:)

my view of qingdao:


EDIT: this ones better:


L i cant get my camera to shoot in low light 7

qingdao like kungpao

ten things you probably dont know about the other side of the world.
..and if you do youre just a fucking geographic/culture and or history geek.



1.)there are no addresses, or street names - at least where i am.. there are #s and characters spray painted everywhere - how does fed ex deliver one asks? a lucky guess i assume.

2.)the magical buttons on the toilet were to "heat the seat" - it's the big thing to in korea i hear -heat your seat -- hehehe



3.)every pastry i have eaten (or what i was told was a pastry) is made of some kind of bean. this one happened to look like a fish; it's the only fish i will be eating after the lobster salad.. (bread with purple bean paste inside)



4.)there are no "yellow" lights. the trafic light turns from green to red/then counts down like the infamous red light at the jersey shore. who knew guidos and qingdao had something in common?!

5.)the escalators and moving walkways in the airport dont move until you step onto them.

6.)fanqui: foreign devil .. x-pat: ex patriot, aka western transplant

7.) apparently everyone rides a moped, with a small child on their lap - and nobody obeys traffic signs or lights (hmm bad drivers...?) the streets are a fucking free for all.

8.) turquoise means caution when on the road - all the guardrails and lines on the road are turquoise.

9.) everyone drives a shangvan - wich looks like a cross between the vw van and an old school toyota -- OR they drive 3 wheeled cars?! (fuck i accidentally deleted the picture of the 3 wheeled CRX)

10.)its all about heated towels, everywhere i go they give me heated towels.. maybe that goes hand in hand with the heated toilet seat?

DOUBLE JEOPARDY: shikishiki - or should i say thanks fro tuning in.

L i cant wait to eat a green tea kit kat 7

this ones for you deliA:

how do you say...

ok, sooooo. yeah, im in china. it just took me 20 minutes to find a PC in the business lounge that didnt translate my english typing into chinga-scramblish.

I AM EXHAUSTED. i think its like 6 am here, waiting for my next flight into Qingdao.

the flight wast bad at all - the seats were R I D I C, no such thing as uncomfotable here, took pictures of the control panel for all the ways the chair moved up down sideways and back (later). i love asian stewardess(es?) the kept bowing and smiling and telling me yes please..ad they changed into kimonos after we took off..

Chinese (edit: maybe they are korean, peter says after one day i will be able to tell the difference; all i know is they all stare at me - may they think im paris hilton?) people eat soup at all hours of the day and night/three times on the plane i got woken up by the smell of some very fancy ramen noodle.

I ate duck and lobster salad on the plane, if you know me you know thts NOT how i roll, but i was confused and they tricked me bc i thought the duck was steak.. or maybe it was the ambien/wine combo playing tricks on my mind. lobster isnt so bad - but no way in china was i eating the pate..bleh

i just took a shower and changed into my fancy meeting out fit (legwarmers leggings pirate boots and a babydoll shirt, and loads of jewelry - fucking fancy i say!). My hair is a blue disaster, no plugs for my flat iron.

The toilet was a new fangeled hi-tech thing i have NEVER seen, it had no lid but about 20 buttons and light up switches on the side?! i pressed them all - nothing life changing happened. not even a gurgle.

There was a "cheak list" in the bathroom so i knew it had been cleaned and inspected.. i wonder who inspects the cheaks? hm.


i think i am borderline delerious. i tried to order TO CATCH A THIEF on the plane, but it kept coming up in korean with korean subtitles (huh).. so i setteled for indiana jones - SNOOZE. it sucked, dont waste your time; and if you have already im sorry.

ok im going to go have wine and cereal for breafast, more later :)
loves from the other side of the world.

L maybe shes paris hilton 7

this little cartoon policeman is all over everything and it says "police reccomend" under him, most of the time. he is a very happy american eyed cartoon policeman/if i do say so myself! :)

it takes one to know one

schmendrick

remember when the "red bull" scared the shit out of you, and the guidos didnt mix it with vodka?